Tall, slick walled white structures are being slowly being invaded by yellow corrosive creatures. They start in the smallest spaces between the walls and begin their inexorable march toward victory. From somewhere in the blackness above a whirring sounds. The yellow microorganisms begin to flee in panic. They fall back from the walls even before the bristly weapons come to swirl them into so much paste. Down into the blackness to be forever lost in a soup of alien acid.
Your teeth, right now, are a war zone. Alien organisms from outside your body are trying to break down the walls of your pearly whites and turn them into the ruins on Malcassairo. This is clearly a violation of the Shadow Compact. Someone think of the innocent gums! Egads! What is a self respecting Whovian to do? Sit around and wait for the Doctor to once again assure the safety of mankind?
Personally, I like to pretend I am a cross between River Song and Martha Jones. I take things, namely my vibrating Sonic Screwdriver Toothbrush, into my own hands and get to work. Do I say “Alons-y” almost nightly when I use it? Yep. Has it gotten old? Nope. I am going to be honest here: brushing my teeth is not exactly my favorite part of the nighttime routine. Most people think novelty toothbrushes are a relic of childhood, but I say why give up things that make you happy? I deadlock the door and make sure to give the plaque and germs a chance to retreat on their own. That’s the kind of woman I am.
The Doctor Who Uses a Sonic Screwdriver Toothbrush is a Hygienic Doctor
Technically speaking, this wonder of dental hygiene is not fully sonic. The Sonic Screwdriver Toothbrush vibrates as well as any of your standard vibrating toothbrushes. It cleans the mouth of germs and bacteria better than a boring manual brush that never gets used.
Who looks at their toothbrush and says “This could be more sonic?” Me. Now if they could only make fish fingers and custard-flavored toothpaste. A girl can wait.