The Empire Strikes Back Silently

Imagine if George Lucas had started the Star Wars franchise in the silent film era of the early 20th century. Imagine seeing a double feature of The Empire Strikes Back with Fritz Lang’s Metropolis. You might expect something like this:

It’s still powerful in spite of the absence of sound effects, isn’t it? I would love to see the entire trilogy retroverted for a 1920s audience. Or just me. Whatever.

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.