Spider-Man Flip Open Sofa Fights for Household Comfort Equality

Pets and children aren’t allowed on the furniture in your house? Well, that’s unfair! We need a superhero who will fight for the equality of all household denizens! We need a Spider-Man Flip Open Sofa that’s suited for tiny bottoms, by golly. One that flips open into a pet and/or child-sized bed, too, while we’re at it! Something exactly like this:

There should be an image here!
[Image: Marshmallow]

What perfect timing! Now the kids and pets will have a place to sit down during Spider-Man Week — and beyond!

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.