Don’t Fear the Creeper Pillow (Cuddle with It, Instead)

Come on baby… don’t fear the creeper. See how cute and soft and cuddly he is? Or she? Have we figured out if these things even identify with the concept of genders? I guess we don’t tend to get close enough to check under the hood. Now’s your chance with the Minecraft Creeper Pillow! Oh, wait. It’s smooth and sexless, like a Ken doll? Or a Barbie doll? Well, there you go, then. It’s a Kenbie.

Don't Fear the Creeper Pillow
[Image: eBay]

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.