Keep Your Enemy Closer with the Minecraft Creeper Plush

While attributed variously (and, perhaps, erroneously) to wise strategists like Sun Tzu, Niccolo Machiavelli, and Michael Corleone, the notion to “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer” probably predates language, altogether. It’s likely been a part of our DNA since we were hunting and gathering side-by-side with other hunters and gatherers. It’s what helped us survive; it’s what will help us continue surviving even when our enemies find more clever ways to intrude upon us. The infamous creepers of Minecraft know what I’m talking about, and Creeper Week is all about awareness.

What better way to keep such an enemy closer than by cuddling up with a Minecraft Creeper Plush? Don’t let his (or her — we still haven’t discovered how to identify creeper gender) adorableness disarm you. Embrace the cuteness, but with caution!

Minecraft Creeper Plush
[Image: Amazon]

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.