Pat the Zombie: Propaganda for Smart, Young Brains

Pat the Zombie is Effective Undead Propaganda For Young Minds

Training for the future soldiers of truth, justice, and the pre-deceased starts with Pat the Zombie, friends! [Image shared by Amazon]

If The Walking Dead has contributed only one realization to the growing field of Zombie Survival Strategy, it is that at some point, children will be our last and very best defense against the undead horde. Pat the Zombie is a gentle introduction to the art of zombie slaying for even the youngest of children. The undead, much like the foul communists of days past, make no distinction between the sick and the well, or the young and the grown. We must teach our children early lest they fall prey to an insatiable hunger for brains, themselves!

Pat the Zombie is a brilliant work of propaganda that prepares our youngest generation for the horrors they will inevitably face as society slides ever closer to being past the point of redemption. In the past, we may have been more subtle as we taught our children to identify and name the dangerous pinkos within our capitalist society. In the end, communists proved themselves to not yet be beyond the point of reasoning. Zombies will give us no such break. We must educate our children and we must do so in a clear and unrelenting way.

Pat the Zombie Prepares Children to Crush an Enemy Beyond the Reach of Blacklists

Pat the Zombie is Effective Undead Propaganda For Young Minds

Even family can fall prey to the zombie plague. [Image shared by Pat the Zombie]

Young, still-developing minds are primed to receive the message of effective propaganda. If we are going to arm ourselves against the inevitable, grave-risen, devil-spawn threat of the future, we must stop coddling our children. What happens when the bunny that the old-fashioned Pat the Bunny book purports they pat turns out to be the undead pet of a commander zombie?

Pat, indeed; they need to learn to gut the zombie and then destroy the brain! If we wish to protect our children and ensure our future, we need to steel their hearts and steady their hands. Pat the Zombie is a perfect first step in the training and conditioning of our future warriors. Do not let your children be caught unawares when the dead rise from their graves to reclaim this godforsaken land. Teach them to fight! Teach them to kill!

Head over to Amazon and begin your zombie apocolypse survival plan with Pat the Zombie today! (Your children will thank you by not eating your brains.)

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