Bowler Hat with Light Bulb Lamp Makes You Lightheaded

Remember how I warned you that assembling model airplanes in an unventilated room could make you lightheaded? Well, so will walking around with a light bulb on your bowler hat. One kind of lightheaded might be an indication that you’re close to passing out and dying. The other kind of Lightheaded might help you get home on a dark and foggy night.

LockerGnome condones the latter and disavows itself from the former. (So please stop it with the glue-sniffing party invites, already! We grew out of that phase a long time ago!)

Bowler Hat with Light Bulb Lamp Makes You Lightheaded
[Image: Amazon]

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.