To survive as a species, we must not only teach our children young, but we must train ourselves. The Zombie Rear-View Decal will remind you that, while the objects in your rear-view mirror may not look like like a threat today, someday quite soon they will be. This decal will be an important visual queue to reinforce evasive driving maneuvers as you are making your practice supply runs in an empty downtown street at midnight.
Most people think preparation for the coming darkness is simply a matter of food, weapons, and security. Those people will die slow and agonizing deaths. Yes, we must physically prepare as much as possible, but mental preparation is king. That monster hulking after you in the darkness sure looks like your second grade teacher, right? Look in the mirror: it’s a zombie. For those times when the hard decisions must be made, the Zombie Rear-View Decal is a stepping stone to steely nerves. Get used to the idea of running over your neighbors and impaling them on your warrior bus spikes now, because it is going to happen.
The Zombie Rear-View Decal is Surprisingly Accurate — Even Today
Taking a break from portents of a grim and inescapable future, let us imagine ourselves stuck in traffic on the 405 around Inglewood, California. We decide to move into the left-most lane as our exit is miles down the road. Checking the rear-view to ensure safety, we are greeted with a reminder of just how grim and inescapable the present can be. The objects behind us are zombies. So are the objects in front. A never-ending line of mindless shamblers slowly moving toward a goal that seems to get more vague and unapproachable as the afternoon sun moves toward Santa Monica. Every day we are subjected to a number of processes that render us increasingly more zombie-like. Many of us stare blankly at the glow of monitors all day only to return home to do the same most of the night. We should not need a decal on our cars to show us where this is all headed, but we kind of do, don’t we?
Prepare now! Pick up your own Zombie Rear-View Decal here!