Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Vogon Jeltz Figure

A hoopy frood can remain ever so hoopier if never trapped into being held captive audience to a Vogon poet. Why? Well, because according to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, it’s “the third worst poetry in the Universe.” This Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Vogon Jeltz Figure reminds us of just how comforting the thought of being hurled into the vastly hugely mindbogglingly big vacuum of space can seem when confronted with the prospect of forcibly admiring Vogon elocution.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Vogon Jeltz Figure
[Image: Amazon]

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.