The Only Good Jar Jar Binks is a Jar Jar Binks in Carbonite

It’s not nice to wish ill upon others, and the more specific your ill will is wished, the harder it is to not feel guilty if such a thing actually transpires to befall the target of your ire. So when you, in a fit of annoyance, told Jar Jar Binks that you hoped he would just go get frozen in carbonite, already, your surprise and immediate pangs of guilt were apparent as soon as the mouthy Gungan wound up in that very pickle.

Both of us felt especially bad when Kenner rudely released this insensitive 2012 SDCC Exclusive Star Wars Vintage Collection Jar Jar Binks in Carbonite action figure — or would it technically be an inaction figure since he can’t really move around (or, more important, talk) in there?

The Only Good Jar Jar Binks is a Jar Jar Binks in Carbonite
[Image: Amazon]

Nah, I’m just kidding. We didn’t feel bad at all. We went out on a Corellian Rum bender to celebrate immediately after — remember?

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.