Garbage Pail Kids BNS3 Cards Out Now

Garbage Pail Kids BNS3

Don’t care about sports? Garbage Pail Kids BNS3 might make you a card collector, anyway! [Image shared by Geek Gift Guide]

For Chris Pirillo, Christmas came a little early this year: Garbage Pail Kids BNS3 is out (the BNS stands for Brand New Series — not to be confused with ANS, or All New Series, which is… an older series. Just go with it, man)! If you’ve been following the exploits of our LockerGnome Geek in Chief at any point over the last decade or two, you probably know that he has what some might consider to be an unhealthy obsession with these collectible cards of grossly named and often misbehaving children.

A parody of the once-popular Cabbage Patch Kids patterned on past Topps hits like Wacky Packages and Garbage Candy by creator Art Spiegelman (known for his Pulitzer Prize-winning graphic novel, Maus), the Garbage Pail Kids franchise has been with us since 1985.

Incidentally, Cabbage Patch Kids are still officially around, but which franchise do you see around more often these days?

Coincidentally, LockerGnome community members seem to share in at least a couple of other geeky passions: LEGO bricks and Minecraft. These fellow fanatics will be flushed with festivity when they see that both of these worlds have been properly addressed in Garbage Pail Kids BNS3.

Garbage Pail Kids BNS3: Like Baseball Cards for People Who Don’t Care About Baseball

Hey, when you don’t care about baseball cards, the baseball card companies are going to find some kind of button to push — so there are trading cards for everything. That’s why there are football cards, basketball cards, Magic: The Gathering cards, soccer cards, UFC cards, Pokemon cards, Star Wars cards, superhero trading cards, Mars Attacks cards, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and so on. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are cards for popular gluten free products and certifiably cuckoo congresspeople these days. Ousted dictators? Yoga positions? Misbehaving celebrities? Probably all on the drawing board in some stage of development.

But the Garbage Pail Kids BNS3 cards are here today (and probably gone tomorrow, so act quickly)!

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.