The late Frank Zappa once sang: “You’re probably wondering why I’m here/And so am I/So am I/Do do do do do do do doooo…”

When one starts to write one’s first article for Lockergnome, one
feels that one should introduce one’s self to one’s readers.

My name is Elliot. I’m a geek. (”Hello, Elliot!”) Even “Elliot” is a geeky name. I’m in my
mid-forties, and I’ve been around the proverbial block a few times.

I wrote my first “Hello World” program in Basic when I was a high school
freshman in the late 15th century (ok, I exaggerate, it was 1826). My
first computer was built from flint and sandstone. No really, it was
an HP9830A Basic Calculator. Programs were stored on cassette
tapes. No floppies yet. We high school nerds were easily identified
by the cassettes we kept in our shirt pockets.

Actually, that wasn’t really my first computer.

I built my very first computer was when I was in eighth grade. My Webelo troop and I made a “computer” out of a large cardboard box. We
painted it blue, added a
bunch of bells and lights to the front, and cut a door in the back.
There was a slot in front where anyone could write a question and slip it
into the “computer” and get an answer in return.

Two of us would go inside it. One would control the lights and bells
and buzzers. The other would type an answer on a typewriter.

Believe it or not, this was a huge hit at the county Cub Scout Jamboree. The
lines were longer to ask “Eugene” a question, than those to run the
pinewood derby races. The scout master looked at the questions as
they were being written out and would help us with the answers (”What’s
the score of the Cubs game?”).

In those days, 10 years before the IBM PC, computers were mysterious. Most
people actually had a twinge of belief that this was a real computer.

Even before that, Santa Claus gave me an electricity kit when I was
8. Even before that, in the womb… (ok, ok, I’m getting carried away).

This began my lifelong fascination with electronics, computer design, and
software. (To paraphrase an old joke: “Have you been interested in
computers all your life?” “Not yet.”)

These days, I’m a Computer Architect. I design computers and microprocessors (chips). And when I’m not doing that, I write software.

Today, computers are just as mysterious, but in different ways. Lots
of people have one, but very few actually know how they work.

Let’s cut to the nub. You want to learn about hardware
and I want to teach you about hardware. That is, how your computer works.

What’s that? You don’t want to learn about hardware? Sure you do.
Think Art of War: Know your enemy.

Oh, you like computers. Then it behooves you to know as much about the
tool you’re working with. Don’t you think?

In the coming weeks and months, I’m going to write about how your
computer actually does what it does. What is actually on the inside of that
microprocessor. What a chip is. Why more memory appears to make your computer faster.
What a cache is. How computers use electricity to add two numbers
together. Are more Gigahertz better? And what’s a
“Hertz” anyway?

In other words, everything you wanted to know about how computers work,
but were afraid to ask. In person, anyway.

Sometimes I’ll get technical, and sometimes I’ll keep it light. In
all times, I’ll try to keep it interesting, and understandable.

If you have a topic you’d like me to cover, email me at elliot@filehand.com.