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A Series of Birthday Wishes

I would like to wish a happy 83rd birthday to Senator Ted “The Tube” Stevens. I have a great deal of respect for Mr. Stevens. No one has ever been able to explain technological things like the internet to me in such plain language. For the longest time, I thought that the internet WAS a big truck that you just dump something on. I used to just throw things on the internet without any regard for other people’s personal internets. I figured, “it’s a big truck, it can handle the load.”

Now that I understand that the internet is a series of tubes, I treat it much differently. I don’t want those tubes to get filled with enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material. No longer does my staff send an internet on Friday and it gets delayed until Wednesday. My personal internet is free of any blockages.

If you also appreciate Mr. Stevens as much as I do, please comment below with your birthday wishes for him. On Wednesday, Nov 22, I will be sending the office of Senator Stevens a belated birthday cake with a copy of all of the comments this entry receives. The cake will be delivered by Federal Express…..on a big truck.

(Yes, I’m aware that tube jokes are old - like Ted Stevens himself - but it’s his birthday, damn it..)

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[tags]Ted Stevens, series of tubes, internet, birthday, big truck[/tags]

2 Comments

I propose somebody start an annual award to be awarded on Ted Stevens’ birthday. In the spirit of the “Golden Fleece Award”, this award would honor the member of Congress exhibiting the greatest display of ignorance regarding the matters on which they are voting, or worse, as in the now-famous “Series of Tubes” speech, advocating a position on a matter they are themselves clueless about. The award would be called the “Series of Tubes Award.” The trophy would consist of one tube with no end — a closed loop that goes nowhere, just like the other Stevens now-famous misstep, The Bridge to Nowhere.

Happy Birthday, Senator Ted! Your knowledge and insight on Internet issues is surpassed only by George W. Bush’s grasp of the Bill of Rights!

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General - Nov 18, 2006

A Series of Birthday Wishes

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