I was very interested by the news that there’s another Harvest Moon game coming out for PS2 (thanks again, Gamespot). For those timewasters who call themselves gamers but have no idea what I’m talking about, Harvest Moon (called Bokujou Monogatari (Farm Story) in Japan) is a series of Japanese pseudo-RPGs in which you play a diminutive hick looking after a farm for a couple of years, who in most instalments is also given the task of seducing and wedding a suitable breeding mate. Now, I could wax lyrical endlessly on some of the stranger aspects of the game - getting married when your character clearly doesn’t seem to have passed puberty and the act of milking cows that looks uncannily like molestation - but the fact is, I really have a soft spot for this series.

While repeatedly caring for animals and crops day in, day out for three years while making girls like you by throwing cakes at their faces sounds deathly dull on paper, there’s something about the way your avatar scampers keenly to action at your behest that has its own bewildering charm. It’s one of those games I openly mock as I play before realising that it’s four in the morning and I’m beginning to smell like one big whole-body armpit. But I can’t go to bed yet; I’ve just got to do ONE MORE DAY, because I’m pretty certain the turnips are just about to come up.

Harvest Moon: Wonderful Life will be coming out on PS2 on the 11th of November, so start practising chewing on straws.