Applying for a Job with the New York Knicks

Times are tough. The economy has yet to find a bottom. Lay-offs and job cuts are everyday news. And grocery prices seem to know only one direction. Therefore, it is time to apply for work – specifically, with the New York Knicks:

To: Donnie Walsh – President: Basketball Operations
James L. Dolan – Chairman: Madison Square Garden
From: Catherine Forsythe

I have looked at your Executive Management page and I see a glaring gap. As one of the storied franchises in the National Basketball Association, this omissions is even more surprising. Therefore, I am offering my services to be the officially recognized New York Knicks Non-Blogger.

I would be following in the recent tradition of the New York Knicks. I believe that Stephon Marbury remains under contract with your franchise and his sole obligation, at this point, is to stay away. I believe that he has been instructed to stay away from the team and to stay away from Madison Square Garden. For this, he is paid millions.

I believe that the New York Knicks have set a precedent for this. Isiah Thomas remains part of your basketball operations, with instructions to do nothing except to distance himself from the team and its players. And yes, I understand that the remainder of the contract is worth millions.

Without a doubt, Mr Walsh and Mr Dolan, I can guarantee you that I can do nothing. I am eminently qualified to do nothing. You have my solemn promise that, if I am appointed to be the Knicks official non blogger, that for the 2009 calendar year, I will not mention nor type the word “Knicks”; I will stay away from the team and I will stay away from Madison Square Garden. I can do that. – I know that other NBA franchises will try to contact me and the press will be asking for comments. However, for the seven figure compensation, nothing will be forthcoming. I think you will be pleased with the absence of any effort that you will be receiving.

Catherine Forsythe