It wouldn’t have happened if she had given him what he wanted. Saying NO to everything but “MIssionary” does not a happy marriage make. I speak from a 23 year experience of NOs.

Gary I see Cathrine hasn’t even dignified your response with one of her own. To Catherine I say good for you, keep it up. In fact don’t even respond to me because it would provide a response to Gary indirectly.

All women should refrain from addressing men like Gary.

There are real men out there that understand what a true marital relationship is about and are willing to participate in the sacrifice both spouses must make at all levels. The content of your comment Gary is a very small part of a real marriage and if all that is drives someone like you to maintain fidelity to your spouse is “getting it your way” then you are not deserving of all the other sacrifices your spouse makes for you. I am not saying all relationships should be missionary only but that all partners should respect the level of comfort each has in giving what they can.

I respond to you Gary because it is men like you that have given women cause to devalue themselves into objects for man’s satisfaction; to give in to selfish one sided terms out of fear or domination. That is not what partnership in marriage is about, that is slavery. I tell you this as a man so that others wanting to be real men will stand up and do the right thing because they will not be alone.

All males are not subject to their own whims and desires, they are men and do the right thing because it is right not because it gives them what they want. They choose to control and master their short term desires for greater things. All things in marriage, especially what you talk about in your comment, are mutual decisions.

Real men should not see anything of value in Gary’s comment and should speak out against it when you see it. Help other males become men.

Women you should simply be repulsed and leave.

I can see you must be an inexperienced youmg fella that hasn’t learned yet what evil beings human females really are. Get back to me after your first divorce and apologize for speaking in spite of your obvious lack of knowledge on the subject.

I have lived through a divorce - my parents. I made a promise to myself to work very hard not to have that happen in my marriage.

I am sorry Gary that you have had a divorce in your own life. I can only image the hurt it caused you to give you feelings towards all women like the ones you express in your writing.

My wife and I have been dear friends for over 25 years now. We will be married for 21 years in May, both of us still in our first marriage! We have four children ages 4 to 15. Some may consider me a young fella but I would say that I am not unexperienced nor overly young. I have not experienced 23 years of NO because when no was given as an answer I was mature enough to accept it and not keep hounding my spouse over and over like a young child. That behavior wears on anyone if it persist too long and shows a lack of sensitivity and compassion. I discipline my children for behavior that does not accept the answer when it is given and respect the person that gave the answer. They receive time outs and loss of privileges as consequences to this behavior, similar to what you may be experiencing now in a more adult form of consequence in your divorce.

I have offered my apologies but not for my speaking out but rather for your condition. I believe no other apology will ever be forthcoming by your standards because I believe I have shown it was given from a position of experience and a better grasp of the knowledge on the subject of successful relationships, particularly marriage.