Curious about Parenting?

If you have read any of my previous blogs, you know that my husband and I don’t have any children yet. Notice the “yet,” which means that I want children I just don’t have any at the moment. My husband just turned 30 and I just turned 29. We have been married for four years.

You’re probably wondering why we don’t have any children yet, especially with both of us claiming that we want them. Well, it just seemed to be one thing after another. First, when we got engaged and put our finances together we realized that we were under a mountain of credit card debt–most of it mine. (Hey, I can’t help that I like to shop.) We have been trying to get rid of that since we got married (only a few months of payments left!!). Due to our credit issues, we have not been in a good place to buy a house. We have received advice from multiple people to, “buy a house before you have kids or you’ll rent forever.”

Finances aside, then there is the issue of my job. My husband and I both make a decent living, but my job is very unique. I am a training specialist, working only with one other person. I am expected to be there every day I have a training class (which is usually every day, all 8-hours) and there is no one to cover for me. My only co-worker has the same amount of work as I do and is in the same situation. I never know what my schedule will be–there is no consistency to my hours. Taking a vacation is a logistical nightmare, days off are almost out of the question unless I squeeze them in when I’m not training, and being sick is not allowed. I am trying to get a new job but, until I do, there is no way I could be pregnant or be a parent with my current work situation. Not working isn’t an option either, see the second paragraph.

I came across this short and sweet blog from Yahoo’s new online magazine, Shine. The author is a working mother and some of her childless friends were asking her what it’s like to try to juggle work and family. She raised a good point, “it doesn’t matter how much you hear about the experience, you have no idea what it’s like until you actually go through it.”

Boy that’s the truth. Every parent I’ve talked to, including my own and my in-laws, describe it in different ways–both in the positive and negative sense. It’s so confusing. I know I want kids, but how do I know when I’m ready? I don’t want to wait too long, my biological clock is ticking away. I feel like I’m psychologically ready, but other factors in my life are not cooperating. I’ve had some people tell me, “If you wait to be financially ready or have the perfect job, you’ll never have kids.” I translate that piece of advice to mean, “don’t worry if you can afford to feed and clothe a child or have time to care for him, you’ll manage.” Yeah, considering my previous financial blunders along with my work schedule, I don’t think that is the best school of thought.

Anyone out there in this situation, or has anyone ever been in this situation? Having a family before my husband and I get too old is one of my biggest priorities. I hope I am at least taking the right steps toward a more family-friendly lifestyle.