This is my fourth and final article of this series about online dating. Today I’ll share some past experiences with you.

THE GOOD - I have used several online dating services over the past few years, and made some friends along the way. I got to go out with some people, and had a good time. It gave me a better appreciation for different people out there, their interests, and goals in life. It also gave me a better understanding of what I was looking for.

THE BAD - There is so much deception out there, not just on line but in the world itself as a whole. We all need to keep our guard up at all times.  This brings to mind a particular experience I had, a while back, while browsing profiles. I had a person IM me on one of the dating sites who said that they were interested in chatting. She asked me if I had a Yahoo IM. I said yes, and we exchanged handles. Long story short, it turned out that she wanted me to sign up with an adult pay site to see her exhibit herself. I had a little fun with the situation to see how long I could chat with her on Yahoo, till she got tired of me and would sign off. Turned out she was quite persistent, and no I did not fall for the scam. I finally got her to admit that she was working for an adult pay site company as a model. I also told her that she would be a great sales or marketing person.

Just beware out there, if something seems too good to be true, find out why, but not the hard way.

The INCREDIBLE - I finally found the love of my life through a local dating service. This dating service is a bit different than your traditional online dating site. They require that you visit one of their offices, fill out a detailed form, and then they run a full background check. After one meets their stringent requirements, then they issue you an online user account, where you fill out your profile and post a photo. They also have weekly singles events, for members, so participants can meet  in a comfortable setting.

The week I signed up, I came across a profile of someone whom I really wanted to meet. I emailed her and didn’t hear back. So I hoped to meet her at the next event which took place at a nice restaurant, but alas… she never showed. Needless to say, I was very disappointed, but still had a good time. However, not all was lost. She showed up for the next event, which was a road trip to a place called Cedar Key. The first time I saw her I said to myself, wow she’s beautiful! We ended up carpooling together, and had a blast. We have been seeing each other ever since. She’s the most awesome person I have ever met, and I love her very much.

ALWAYS REMEMBER - You can’t have love without freedom, and there is no freedom without love.

If the other person responds then offer them your Instant Messenger (IM) handle. Some dating sites have an IM system already built in. However for those that don’t, make sure you have an AOL, Yahoo, Google or MSN chat account set up. These are the most popular ones, and chances are that the other person will already have one. Most people on dating sites will not give out their phone number right away till they get to know you first, for obvious reasons. IM chat is a good way to get to know someone better. Be patient, take your time to get to know the person you are interested in. If you find that you really like this person, and the feeling is mutual, then ask them if they would like to call you. If they do then give them your phone number. It is important to remember NOT to give out any personal information until you and the other person are comfortable with each other.

From there on is wherever you take it.

Hope you find what you are looking for in life.

Next week we’ll look at a sample of things to watch out for.

Once you figure out what direction you want to take things, it’s time to head to your favorite search engine. One of the first things, I recommend searching for, is a local dating site for your particular area. Let’s face it, long distance relationships can be difficult to maintain. If a local site is not available, or doesn’t have what you are looking for, then sign up with a larger one, such as match.com, eharmony, plentyoffish.com, etc. Review the search results, make a list, visit the sites, and find out what they have to offer. See if they require a subscription, and if they have anyone who may be of interest to you. Some sites are totally free. Then there are sites that let you sign up for free, and then want payment if you want to contact, chat or reply to someone. It’s also very important to read the terms of service, especially on the pay sites. Most pay sites have monthly recurring charges, and different membership levels, which can become quite expensive. Some sites even require personal verification or a background check.

Once you have signed up with the site(s) that you are interested in, it’s time to fill out the profile. Here are a few quick tips; The important thing to keep in mind, is that one needs to be honest about themselves, and what they want. Just write what you feel about yourself, and what you are looking for in a person. Be concise and to the point. Use your spell checker, this is very is important, as well as proper sentence structure. Women in particular tend to be more attracted to someone, who can express a complete thought without misspellings. Last but not least don’t forget to post your photo. When posting a photo it is very important to make sure that it’s a recent one. Posting an old, altered or false photo is deceptive and dishonest, not to mention the disappointment, and hurt, the other interested person will feel, when they really find out that someone has deceived them. A well written profile with a nice photo will generally yield good responses.

I’ll save my experiences for a future post.

So what does a computer geek like me do to find someone to go out with? First, it would be nice to find someone whom I have something in common with. It doesn’t always have to be about computers, but to find someone who takes some interest in what I do would be a bonus. Where does one turn? What are one’s options?

Let’s start with one of the more known options, clubs and bars. Statistically what one typically finds in these places leaves much to be desired, in my opinion. What I typically find is people who; already have a date, are out with a group of friends, but not single, or are trying to escape their personal problems with excess drinking and or substance abuse. OK, I admit, there are some rare occasions where I have met someone, but that is so rare.

According to some people, other options include weddings and funerals. I’ve been to a few, and finding a date at these particular happenings is way overrated.

Then there are Churches. This is good for those who are like minded in their Faith. I have been to quite a few Churches of different denominations across the country, however not for dating purposes, but for learning. I do know of some people who have found that special someone at Church, but to me personally, a Church is a place of learning and worship, and not a dating center.

This brings me to online singles and dating sites. As a geek, I thought that this would be it, I can find that special someone using my computer without having to leave the house! After all we do live in a more sheltered society. This is the twenty-first century where most people have a computer and Internet of some sort. and there are lots of decent women who just don’t care to go out, or are so busy that they do not have the time to go out very much.

The nice thing about online dating sites, is that you get to know something about the other person without having to take the time to meet them. Why waste the time meeting someone only to find out that you have nothing in common.

The number of dating sites out there can be quite overwhelming. A Google search for “Online singles” yielded 28,900,000 results, and another Google search for “Find a date” returned 697,000,000 results. Wow, isn’t life tough enough already. So many sites and so little time.

In my next post I’ll share with you some of my experiences in general with online dating, including the good, the bad and the funny.

My name is Rick, and I am Director of a consulting company called ATTEast. I have been involved with computers, electronics, video and audio production ever since I can remember. It’s a fun, challenging and fascinating field to work in, never a boring moment… well only when I have to deal with the same old problems of a certain popular software company that has the ‘blue screen’ tendency. I love being creative and like to think outside the box. Over the years I’ve had the privilege of being involved with some very unusual projects, and have gotten to know some wonderful people along the way.

The scope of my writing will include some of the aforementioned project stories. I hope that you will enjoy reading them.

Rick